onemonkeyshow

So yes, we did take the plunge.  I read about Gunnison Beach in the New York Times – and we’ve always talked about going to Sandy Hook in New Jersey, so we just did it.  I checked it all out – 1/2 hour Ferry Ride from Pier 11 on the East Side to Sandy Hook.  Ferry is run by SeaStreak and you better make sure you bring CASH – they don’t take cards for anything.  It’s $43 round trip per person, and the Ferry is VERY nice.  So the day started out just fine.  I got up early to make breakfast, we had just about an hour to get ready.  The trip on the subway was going to take nearly an hour, so I wanted to leave a little before 9am in order to make the 10:20am ferry (the last of the day departing for Sandy Hook).  This is me around 9am waiting for Keith.  He can tell you – I abhor even the idea that I MIGHT be late.  And Keith has never understood the word “early” so when we’re rushing off somewhere, I’m usually like this till we get there:Amazingly enough, we actually made it.  My fear was solely based on the MTA – whenever I’m in a hurry, they always fuck it up.  [However I will say this - had the ferry departed on time, we would have had a whole 4 minutes to spare.]  We didn’t know they only took cash for the tickets (something the website does not mention).  Between us we had a total of $91…that left us $5 spending cash at the beach.  Oh well, we brought water and snacks, we were still going.  Pulling out into the East River, we got some up close looks at the new Public Art Exhibit – the Waterfalls in the East River.  Here’s the one under the Brooklyn Bridge:
Here’s one that’s right across from Pier 11:

And here’s the one just a bit further south.  Pretty isn’t it?  We thought it was pretty hilarious that this one wasn’t even working.  We saw the fourth one but didn’t pass by it (it’s just north of the Brooklyn Bridge).  These are by the same artist that did The Gates (the big orange flags) in Central Park, and I pretty much feel the same way about them:  ”umm…hmmm”
Starting the trip – we opted for the top of the ferry so we could see everything we passed.  Here’s Keith posing in the sunshine, isn’t he a cutie?
Chugging along and pulling away from Gotham.  The boat ticks along at quite a nice speed, and churns up a heck of a wake.
Remember 2 photos ago?  Wasn’t that a cute photo of Keith?  I made sure he looked good, that the wind was in his face, so on and so on.  Here’s the one he took of me.  I look a little ’special’, don’t I?
After passing the big ‘ol Green Lady, we finally make our way to the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge that connects Brooklyn with Staten Island.  It’s quite an impressive span bridge!

I sincerely don’t know how we lucked out – it was the most PERFECT day to be out in the sun.  The sky had these fun and playful clouds, and the temperature was fantastic.  We were ready to get naked!!!  (I brought a pair of swimming trunks – just in case)

The first stop on the Ferry is for Sandy Hook.  We disembarked, and headed towards the cute yellow school bus.  A friendly chap greeted all of the passengers, and handed out maps of Sandy Hook.  There are 3 beaches, he explained.  ”North Beach is small and doesn’t really have any amenities – that will be the first stop in the bus.  Anyone going to Gunnison Beach?”

Now that we’re fairly confident that this is the ‘clothing optional’ beach, we head down the path.  A quick stop in the bathrooms, and then we make our way out to the HUGE beach.  At first, I lean over to Keith and say “I don’t see any naked people – I’m not get naked if no one else is naked.”  Fortunately as we get closer, I notice that most of the people ARE naked.  However this is a weekday, and these are hardcore beachgoers.  Their skin is the color of clothing – too many years spent lying naked in the sun, I suppose – so from a distant I couldn’t make out the bulbous breasts, swinging schlongs and…and their…oh crap, what’s a “v” adjective for vaginas?  Oh well, you get the idea.  As we’re getting closer we pass by this cute little sign:
Hee hee…another warning about the “clothing optional” aspect of this beach.  I think we get it by now.  We pick out a spot, lay out our blanket, give each other one final look, and off come the clothes.  Ahhhh…stretch out, feel the sun bouncing off your cheeks and subtly lapping at the parts of your body that are most often covered and hiding.

What I love about nude beaches are the people.  Sure, some of them are just fun to look at, and they usually know it.  But for the most part, they’re just people.  People that like the freedom of nudity.  And I can see why.  It certainly strips away inhibitions, and just allows you to interact on a very simple level.  There’s nothing sexual about a nude beach (well, sometimes you can’t HELP but get a little visibly aroused…I mean, come on).  It made me think about how nudity is considered wrong in this country – why have we, as Americans, made it such a point to shove that flag pole so far up our butts that we’re so rigid we can’t even bend at the waist?  Anyway, no reason to get political – we’re talking about nude, happy people here.  We lathered up with sunscreen and stretched out for a bit of a repose.  I noticed a rainbow ring around the sun, and was amazed that the photo actually came out:
We made our way to the water.  Oh sure, it was cold.  A hard reality for men at a nude beach, but you deal with it.  I wish I could have gotten video of Keith slowly making his way into the cold water.  I think there were dolphins that responded at one point, he was so high-pitched.  Once in, we rolled in the waves, did a little body-surfing, and had a great time.  However, one HUGE wave came by and sent me for a tumble.  I came up with a scratched back, and an empty ring finger.  Yep, the vicious Atlantic Ocean took my wedding ring.  A nearby man and woman (they were a couple) helped us look (and yes, they were nude too), but there was no hope.  Keith and I resigned ourselves to the fact that I’d have to get a new one, and stuck out our chins determined to enjoy the rest of the day.  Of course I couldn’t help reminding him that until I get the new ring, I’m basically single again.  I nearly got dunked!

So that’s how we spent the majority of the day.  Romp in the waves, then relax on the beach reading or snacking and laughing.  Then back into the water.  Finally, and way too quickly, the time arrived for us to head back to catch our little yellow bus.  We gathered our things, and put our clothes back on.  Feeling extremely overdressed, we made our way back.  As you’re heading back to the bathrooms, there’s yet another sign warning us nude freaks to make sure we get decent again:
We had a bit of time to kill before the bus arrived, so we wandered up to the canon site here at Gunnison Beach.  Pretty amazing considering how far these canons had to shoot.

We sat down on the sidewalk and waited for the bus.  I was still amazed by the sky…
And then the bus finally arrived.  I was convinced that as they were pulling up, the driver must have been telling the people already onboard that they were here to pick up people from the ‘clothing optional’ beach.
Back at the dock, we had to wait just a few minutes for the Ferry to arrive and take us back home again.

And then we settled down in the comfortable chairs on the ferry and took the trip home.  It went all the way up to East 35th Street first, so the trip home was about an hour.  And then, of course, an hour on the subway (which ruins any excursion).  We were tired, salty, and pink from the sun.  So we popped into our favorite burger joint in Inwood – Piper’s Kilt – for some massive hamburgers and a couple of cold beers.  Perfect ending to a lovely day.  I highly recommend the trip to anyone and everyone.  It’s easy, and convenient, and the price is worth the quick ferry trip.

Oh, and for those of you wondering why there aren’t any pics of us on the beach…well, one of the first rules of nude beaches is ‘respect other beach-goers – no cameras”.  However, we did snap this one.
You’ll just have to use your imagination, knowing that we’re both naked, lying there on that blanket.  And if you REALLY want to see, then you’ll just have to accompany The Husbands on their next trip to Gunnison Beach…the Clothing Optional Beach.