onemonkeyshow

Typical start to the day.  Off the train, got a cup of coffee (and a scone) and headed to the office.  We have 2 garage-door type contraptions that protect the front door and the front window.  I started to lift the one over the door, and heard a loud scuffling sound from overhead.  It didn’t register at first, so I started to open the door a little more.  This time, I was certain that the scuffling noise was some kind of animal.  So I left that door alone while I opened the other one.  Thinking it’s a pigeon (god…I hate pigeons) or perhaps a squirrel, I’m assuming that if I give it a few minutes, the scared animal will bolt out and leave me to open the door the rest of the way.  Just as this thought flits through my brain, a cute little gray head peeks out.  There’s a CAT up inside the garage door!  At this point I don’t think the poor cat is stuck – just scared shitless.  He (or she) is braced against the door and staring down at the ground – meowing every now and again (thankfully not in an “I’m hurt – get help” kind of way, but more in a “I was sleeping and this guy scared me if he gets too close I might take out his eyes” kind of way).

But now what?  The door is half open, and the kitty won’t budge – no matter how much I stand below and say “come on, kitty, kitty…want to jump down?” in a cute, tiny voice.  Not even my constant kissing noises seem to be having an effect on the wide-eyed cat.  So I walk next door and fetch a ladder.  Don’t misinterpret this, I was not about to climb up there and assist a freaked-out cat.  Instead I figured “if I put a ladder in front of the cat, maybe he’ll climb down it”.  Good thinking…

So now I’m standing outside my half-open door with a ladder propped against it and there’s a scared cat screaming at me to just leave him alone.  I get close to make sure he’s not actually stuck, and I figure I might try to move him along a bit.  So I lower the door just slightly, and this does the trick.  The kitty certainly wasn’t stuck, just scared.  Because when that door started to move, he looked back behind him like “what the fuck?” and leaped.  Thank god, not at my head.  Instead he somehow managed to leap and grab onto the wall, which he then tried to scale like SpiderMan.  Unfortunately that didn’t work, as it’s just a brick wall.  Stupid, scared cat.  So then he leaps and turns in mid-air, all 4 legs splayed, and lands at my feet.  He looks up at me very briefly where I catch a hint of what he’s thinking:  “I understand that you just helped me out here, but if I ever see you again I’m gonna cut you”.  And then he proceeded to run right next door and climb into the garage door of the neighboring storefront.  DAMN!

So then I spent five minutes trying to explain to the cat how he just put himself into the same kind of danger.  I know he could hear me – his eyes were watching me from the darkness of the doorway.  Alas, he chose to ignore my warnings.  So now every time someone walks by the window I jump, thinking it might be someone that works in the gallery next door.  My plan is to bum-rush them, and explain about the kitty inside the door – before they yank it open (as I had done earlier this morning).  Thankfully it’s a different kind of door, and the cat is in a different place.  More than likely when it opens, the cat will just be left sitting there on the pavement, more pissed off than ever.

So – good morning, cat.  I hope the day gets better for you from here on out.

update:  My neighbor showed up just a few moments ago.  The cat was still sitting in there so I rushed out to explain to Diane.  We opened the door slowly, the cat freaked out and took off down the street.  It’s not hurt, thankfully.  Although it does look like this little kitty is someone’s pet, rather than a street cat.  So if you’re missing a darling, scared gray cat – he’s under a car on Forsyth Street.

another update:  Marie (the person in the office that owns a cat) and I set out to see if kitty was still under a car.  It was.  She coaxed him out, and he’s in the office now.  Time to take some photos and put up some notices.  Until then, we have an office cat.  Thank goodness I took my allergy medicine this morning!