notes from an A train : 12.9.09 : 7:10am December 9, 2009
Posted by onemonkeyshow in SOOOOOOOOOOO Funny, notes from an A train.add a comment
In the subway station, 2 people seated at a bench had the following sign propped up for everyone to read:
“Do not offend Jesus Christ by celebrating Christmas – it is ACCURST”
I think you can only, truly be a fanatic if you can spell correctly. Otherwise you’re just crazy.
It’s rainy, cold and windy today. And yet despite the weather, I found a few things on the subway to lift my spirits:
the iPhone stalker strikes again
what in world is UNDER there??
notes from an A train : 11.19.09 : 7:16am November 19, 2009
Posted by onemonkeyshow in notes from an A train.add a comment
I’m all blue today. Not in mood, but in clothing. On the plus side, these new blue jeans I bought last Sunday are ONE SIZE SMALLER than any I’ve bought in the last couple of years!! Huh…so going to the gym regularly DOES actually work!?
notes from an A train : 9.24.09 : 7:13am September 24, 2009
Posted by onemonkeyshow in notes from an A train, specifically gotham.add a comment
Strollers. Strollers in this city are my nemesis (at least this morning – see me tomorrow for a new nemesis). They overwhelm the upper west side – they take over paths in parks. And this morning a stroller was responsible for me missing a train. So from here on out I say we ban all strollers. Or at the very least, let’s ban mega-strollers. You know the ones I am talking about. Those architectural structures that dwarf what passed for a stroller a decade ago. Those monoliths of metal and fabric that protect a child while ramming and shoving people off of sidewalks. Those gargantuan strollers that probably cost more than my rent. I say ban ‘em! Get rid of ‘em! Learn how to carry your child like the animal you are! Or better yet, if they can’t keep up – leave ‘em! Life is hard, let ‘em learn it young! It’s the way of nature!
notes from an A train : 06.16.09 : 7:11am June 16, 2009
Posted by onemonkeyshow in just me, notes from an A train.add a comment
Ain’t life funny? I mean, I’ll see photos of Lori & Ivan’s children, or spend time with our God-Daughter and have slight parental feelings – urgings. Yet I will also discover a hitherto untasted flavor of vodka (recently Smirnoff Melon) and praise our childless-ness as I tie one on. Like I said, ain’t life funny?
I had a peaceful sleep last night. I did roll over at one point and realize that I had to pee. I checked the clock and it was 5am exactly. Still plenty of time to pee and then fall back asleep. Now if it had been 5:30am, I would have just stayed in bed. After my pit stop in the bathroom (yes, I even washed my hands in my near asleep state), I crawled back into bed (literally – the space between my side of the bed and the wall is filled with sleeping dog), grabbed Keith’s hand (see why I mentioned the bit about washing my hands?) and fell right back asleep. I wish I was still back there. He is. Lucky bastard.
Lori has whiplash…or…notes from an A train : 05.22.09 : 7:15am May 22, 2009
Posted by onemonkeyshow in notes from an A train.1 comment so far
Lori got slammed into by a guy in a truck on Wednesday. Well, not Lori – I mean, she was in her car, thankfully. She has whiplash. Some women will do anything to avoid oral sex, I tell ya.
The woman with chopped off fingers is looking at me. “Look, I don’t smoke. I’ve never smoked. Please leave me alone creepy finger-chopped ex-smoker lady.”
It’s going to get up to 89 degress today! Holy fuck!
Good news – I didn’t get light-headed at the end of circuit training last night! There were a bunch of people doing it which made for a lot of group energy. At the end of our last “step” I gave a little hoot, a clap, and a hearty “GOOD ENERGY” to the room. As we were walking home Keith said “I can see why you were voted Mr. School Spirit” in High School. I was. I’m not ashamed of that. GO BULLDOGS!!
notes from an A train : 05.20.09 : 7:15am May 20, 2009
Posted by onemonkeyshow in notes from an A train.add a comment
Trip to Ohio is just a few weeks away. Should be fun – usually is! Although what I’m most looking forward to? The fact that we’re flying and not driving. It’s like a 1 1/2 hour flight. Even adding in travel time to the airport and checking in/waiting it’s still only a 3 hour trip. Driving took 10 hours! Poor Max may never set foot on Ohio soil again!
I’m trying too hard to be interesting this morning. It’s like trying to push toothpaste back into the tube.
This weekend is the official “The Husbands vs. Manhattan Challenge.” We’re going to start from Inwood (using the West Side Highway bikepath) and walk all the way down to Battery Park. Should be oodles of fun. And schmoodles of exercise. If you see us pounding the pavement, say ‘hi’!
notes from an A train: Keith edition May 7, 2009
Posted by onemonkeyshow in guest post, notes from an A train.add a comment
I’m on my way to meet Chris for dinner and thought I’d list my musings for a change.
It’s dark and pouring rain. It’s funny but I never fully appreciated the umbrella until living in New York City. In Ohio, it was simply an accessory to take with you from your car to a building and back again. Here, it’s an absolute necessity. So much so that our closet is full of those cheap $5 umbrellas that we have been forced to buy from time to time.
We have a little inlet, “porch” area to our apartment. There was a lady hiding from the rain there earlier. No problem. But she had chain smoked two cigarettes and was working on a third, causing my apartment to reek of her bad habit. So, I told her, “I don’t mind you taking shelter from the storm, but don’t you dare smoke here. This is my home. Not yours.” She chose to walk in the rain.
I saw a crossing guard rush out from a shop where she was enjoying a pastry, frantically blowing her whistle because school kids were blindly wandering into traffic at her intersection. Not sure if it’s funny or tragic. I’m going with funny.
The subway poster says “Si ves algo, di algo”. I’m guessing that means “If you see something, say something” since it has a picture of a neatly wrapped package. But maybe it’s wishing me a happy birthday and offering me a present. That would be cool.
I am the only person on this train wearing a yellow shirt. In fact, I’m the only person even wearing a bright color. Hmm. I’m not used to being the most cheerful person in the room. Kinda creepy. I feel as though maybe I should do a “Cheer up” cheer or something. With great power comes great responsibility.
No lady, I’m not giving up my seat. I’m not the one who decided to have a baby. Just kidding, but I thought it would be a cool thought to follow up my “cheer” rant.
notes from an A train : 4.30.09 : 7:14am April 30, 2009
Posted by onemonkeyshow in notes from an A train.2 comments
Isn’t it true that around 3,000 people here in the US die from influenza (the FLU) each year? WAKE UP, PEOPLE!! You’re being herded – driven – steered like sheep by “fear” of things like Swine Flu. I’m not going to place full blame on the people, I also blame Anderson Cooper (…today, the role of The Media will be played by Anderson Cooper…)! And no, it has nothing to do with OUT Magazine naming him one of the 50 most powerful/influential gay people EVEN THOUGH HE HAS NEVER COME OUT! Instead, it has to do with the fact that 24-hour news stations seem to be devoting 23 hours a day to pig flu, and they continuously detail the ways each of us should be scared for our fucking lives because of it!
My hair didn’t seem to reach a good height today. Shame.
Newspapers have begun dropping like flies (well, the print verisons, anyway). Sure it’s sad, but it is also a natural step in our ever-expanding, globalized world where immediate informatoin is available by clicking a mouse. Somehow reading yesterday’s headlines manually is continually falling out of fashion. And all the while things like ‘iReport’ on CNN (…are you witnessing something tragic? horrific? unbelievable? or downright hilarious? then you TOO can be a reporter on CNN with iReport…) are growing in popularity. RIP over-sized pages and ink-stained fingers.
Dude, I’m so anti-CNN today.
people annoy me April 23, 2009
Posted by onemonkeyshow in just me, notes from an A train.2 comments
One of my biggest qualms about big city life (or perhaps it’s just THIS big city?) is how unaware people are/become. Maybe it’s a defense mechanism, I’m not sure. But people walk the streets and go about their business as if there is there no one else around. And I’m constantly aware. I’m aware of people around me, I’m aware of what they’re doing and how they might interact with me. I move out of the way to allow people to pass; I look before I turn sharply; I slow down instead of coming to a direct halt. And yet, for the life of me, I can’t help but feeling like I must be invisible at times. The worst of these times always occur on the subway. I have no issues any longer with being physically blunt – if people are standing directly outside the door when it opens and I’m trying to get off, they get shoved. If people are crowding around the doors while the middle of the train is empty, I shout and shove my way through. It’s just the way things are done – it’s acceptable.
But yesterday, I was waiting for the A train at West 4th Street. A rather large girl (don’t get me started on teenagers in this city…I’ll sound like a grumpy old man) was standing near me with her friends. The doors open and a stream of people start pouring out of the subway car. She starts pushing them aside – shoving her way in, and acting like THEY are inconveniencing her. I wanted to say “Are you serious? What makes you think that you have the right to do that? Do you have no common decency? Is it really too much of an effort for you to wait for these people to get off the train before walking in, like the rest of us? How absolutely rude and pathetic of you to shove your way in like that.”
What I actually said was “you fat fuck”.
And then she just glared at me the entire trip uptown.
notes from an A train : 04.07.09 : 7:03am April 7, 2009
Posted by onemonkeyshow in notes from an A train.add a comment
As I was walking down the steps in Isham Park this morning on my way to the A train, I was greeted by this sight:
A man in a business suit was standing in the middle of a patch of Daffodils off to the left of the sidewalk. He was facing away from the walkway towards a tree, and talking on his cell phone. At his feet was a large pink and white birthday cake – beautifully decorated and apparently dropped on the spot. Surrounding the cake were piles of individually wrapped candy.
