I think everyone in the office is ready for the long holiday weekend… November 23, 2009
Posted by onemonkeyshow in SOOOOOOOOOOO Funny, hi ho - hi ho - it's off to work I go.add a comment
Thanksgiving day schedule November 23, 2009
Posted by onemonkeyshow in Eating in - food by Chris, SOOOOOOOOOOO Funny.3 comments
I’m a nut case. But at least I’m prepared…
facebook, you’ve done it again November 9, 2009
Posted by onemonkeyshow in SOOOOOOOOOOO Funny, just me, was there ever a doubt?.3 comments
I will be the first to admit that I do not utilize facebook – nearly at all. I have an account, and I sit back and let messages come to me. I don’t seek out new “friends” – I don’t join any groups – I don’t write on my wall (hell, I can usually only last a couple of weeks on Twitter before I get bored). So I leave my account active and just see what happens. Sometimes, I’m pleasantly surprised (re-connecting for a brief moment with Jeremy from elementary school). Sometimes I’m not (getting my hopes up that an old friend really wants to reconnect but then realizing they just want to add another “friend” to their list). And sometimes I’m floored…speechless…eyes wide, slack-jawed and addle-headed. Like today. I got a message from Christina. Oh god, I remember that name. Is that her? Or am I mis-remembering? No, it’s defnitely her. The first, and consequently ONLY girl I ever went “all the way” with (don’t get me wrong, there were others…just none others that I did the deed full-on with…ever…). Polite exchanges “oh, you’re in Houston now?” and “what do you do for a living?”, those kinds of things. And then the potential pin to the floodgate was opened when we conversed about her two cute kids and she asked the inevitable “what about you? have a wife and kids yet?” What could I do? Barrel through I guess, so I responded with “nope, but I have a husband and a dog!!”
and now on a different note – when kids attack, animals retaliate November 9, 2009
Posted by onemonkeyshow in SOOOOOOOOOOO Funny, randomality.add a comment
This is just too funny. I know, wrong yet funny. But a serious lesson can be learned here – little girls with attitude grow up to be big girls with attitude unless a horse steps in and sets them right.
privileged October 29, 2009
Posted by onemonkeyshow in Musings...yes musings, My opinion - and my opinion counts, SOOOOOOOOOOO Funny, just curious, randomality.add a comment
I could almost feel something for him, if he hadn’t been raised in one the wealthiest families in the country and been given every opportunity a rich white boy deserves. What a life – and now, concerned about dropping ratings (according to the NYTimes), Anderson Cooper has holed himself up in a $3,200-a night room with “his muscular friend, Benjamin Maisani, an owner of East Village bar Eastern Bloc” where they spent the first night in the huge bathtub “filled with bubbles and sprinkled with red rose petals”. For fuck sake, just come out already.
I said “line, please!!!” October 29, 2009
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Prompts from the front row? An earpiece so someone can feed you your lines? Read the story here at NYTimes about actors that “cheat” on stage. Wow, now I know why I didn’t think the amazing Ms. Lansbury was all that great when we saw that show in previews. She was too busy listening to someone feed her lines rather than being in the moment and reacting to the other actors.
response from Keith’s dad re: National Equality March in DC (too funny!) October 14, 2009
Posted by onemonkeyshow in SOOOOOOOOOOO Funny, family, guest post.2 comments
Looky here, Martha, a bunch of them queers stirrin’ up a ruckus! They even got that Hitler fascist Obamy atalkin’ to ‘em. What the hell they need cibbil rots fer anyway? And not a nightstick , fire hose or German Shepherd in sight – where the hell are all the PO-leece?
Whodathunk it would come to this? Makes me yearn for the good ol’ Reagan days – and Bush2 – when people knew their place. Uppity, if ya ask me. Next thing y’know they’ll want the Vote. Say wha. . . they kin? Oh Lawdy and St. Palin, what is this great country of arn acomin’ to? Mebbe we should just pick up stakes and clear out of this country and go to . . . Texas.
last sunday at the 2009 Medieval Festival in Fort Tryon Park October 8, 2009
Posted by onemonkeyshow in Awww...friends, SOOOOOOOOOOO Funny, The Husbands, specifically gotham.add a comment
Lana & Jason started the day early to set up for the multitude of people that would be pouring through the festival. Keith and I met Angel & Paul a little later in the day for a walk around the festival. I’m glad we went early – the place gets mega-crazy! Here are some photos of the day:
Lana peddling her wares
my, my, my, what a busty wench
a knighting ceremony - pay no attention to the creepy wizard on the right
TURKEY LEGS!!!
to the death
MEAD!!!!
Paul at the jousting match just moments before we'd all had enough of the crowds and decided to head home.
breakfast of champions (for keith) October 2, 2009
Posted by onemonkeyshow in Awww...friends, SOOOOOOOOOOO Funny, The Husbands.add a comment
When I think breakfast, I think of savory omelets, or smoked salmon and cream cheese on a bagel. When Keith thinks breakfast it’s usually something covered in syrup, or one of his vices…donuts. So when I told him he’d have to figure out breakfast for Lana & Jason this morning since I was coming into work, guess what he got – and then sent me a picture of because he was so excited? Yep, donuts. And not just any donut for Keith. It has to have something rich, sugary, sweet and gooey in the middle…
So cute. He’s the sweet to my savory.
Abbott & Costello…today… September 11, 2009
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Thanks to my Aunt Teri for sending this my way. It’s an updated twist on their famous “Who’s On First” dialogue…if Costello called Abbott to buy a computer:
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO : Thanks. I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT : Mac?
COSTELLO : No, the name’s Lou .
ABBOTT : Your computer?
COSTELLO : I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT : Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name’s Lou .
ABBOTT : What about Windows?
COSTELLO : Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT : Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO : I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the
windows?
ABBOTT : Wallpaper.
COSTELLO : Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT : Software for Windows?
COSTELLO : No. On the computer! I need something I can use to
write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT : Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT : I just did.
COSTELLO : You just did what?
ABBOTT : Recommend something.
COSTELLO : You recommended something ?
ABBOTT : Yes.
COSTELLO : For my office?
ABBOTT : Yes.
COSTELLO : OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT : Office.
COSTELLO : Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT : I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO : I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT : Word.
COSTELLO : What word?
ABBOTT : Word in Office..
COSTELLO : The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT : The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO : Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT :
The Word you get when you click the blue ‘W’.
COSTELLO : I’m going to click your blue ‘w’ if you don’t start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO : That’s right. What do you have?
ABBOTT : Money.
COSTELLO : I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT : It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO : What’s bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT : Money.
COSTELLO : Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT : Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO : I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT : One copy.
COSTELLO : Isn’t it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT : Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO : They can give you a license to copy
money?
ABBOTT : Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT : Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO : How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT : Click on ‘START’………….
